Making a Hobo Care Package

Throughout the year I try to support different charities and causes or contribute in some way because I’m a stellar fucking person. Actually, as I told my sister, I mostly do it for the gold star to make myself feel good while I’m secretly plotting the zombie apocalypse.

Somehow I got onto care packages for the homeless. I believe I saw it on Pinterest. (Of course I did, where else would a person get an idea?)

Now first off, I think these might have been more appropriate in the winter, but summer works just as well.

I started out looking on the internet for ideas and found numerous lists for what to include in your package. That being said, keep in mind that a lot of these are stupid. I’m not kidding, some of the things included amaze me. A few of the listed suggestions were:
Mouth wash - what?! Buy the bum a bottle of booze why don’t you!
Hand sanitizer - Um, again… seriously?!
Shampoo and soap - You mean for their shower, that they own, in their house, oh wait.
A small knife - I was iffy on this one, it’s a good idea for self defense and I’m all about that but, if you supply the person with a possible murder weapon, are you an accomplice? I realize homeless people aren’t out shanking others, but you never know.
Pepper spray - And again… although I can’t even get pepper spray so screw you hobo, not until I’m allowed to have it.
A bible - HAHAHA, some homeless people know the bible better than a minister and others are likely to throw it back at you. How about a bathroom reader. That’s what I’d want.

I bought the majority of my supplies at Dollarama. I made 3 packages that totaled around $40-$45 each. Apparently it’s suggested that these packs be versatile and not super heavy. Mine ended up being a bit heavy, but that was due to the Sunny Dee and a few other items that I believe would be consumed first. Also, they’re homeless, not nomads traveling hundreds of kilometers a day. If that were the case I’d buy them a donkey.

Here is what I included:
Toothbrush with sanitary cap
Toothpaste
Floss - I suppose you could kill someone with this, but hygiene first.
Nail clippers - I don’t think anyone can be killed with these… I think.
Camp towels - These come in a little tin container and are super compact until used.
Small first aid kit - The dollar store had them, who knew!
Spray-able peroxide
Band aids
Lip chap
Nail clippers
Combs - Gotta look swank!
Moist wipes - Shower-free bathing.
Plastic reusable water bottle - BPA free too!
Antiperspirant
Hand lotion
Socks - This is a big one, more so in the winter, but apparently socks are high on the hit list.
A hat - Toque for winter, and since it’s summer I got a canvas bucket-style hat.
Gum - For minty fresh breath.
Non-perishable snacks: chocolate bars, candies, granola bars, Mr. Noodles (because everyone loved eating those dry in high school), crackers and hummus, lollipops, Sunny Dee, pudding, jello, fruit cups. Needless to say they won’t be super healthy, but whatevs.
List of local shelters - I didn’t do this because I’m lazy. And it’s a small city, I’m sure they know. In a larger city I can see how this would make sense.
Other lists included gift cards which I think is a great idea… but I didn’t include any.

I wanted to include sunscreen but unfortunately it’s difficult to find cheaper sunscreen. It’s like the maple syrup of body products.

I bought special black bags for each package that can be clipped onto a shopping cart or carried as a bag. Convenient, it was like they were made for this!

When you’re finished the care packages, you can either walk down hobo alley and hand them out, or drop them off at your nearby shelter. I gave mine to the nearest shelter and they seemed grateful but they were out of gold stars. Boo! Kidding, it was just nice seeing the surprised looks on their faces.

Note: Make sure all food is nut free, just in case. I tried to do my best with that one. Unfortunately by the time I delivered them, they were covered in cat hair and pollen. Can’t win them all right?
Warning: Do not leave these care packages in the house around women or someone with a sweet tooth. Mine have been in the house for a week or two and I haven’t checked but I’m sure there are probably some chocolate bars missing. I mean really, who steals from the homeless?

*Spoiler Alert* Oops guess I’m supposed to put this at the beginning. Just thought I’d warn you, I’m not politically correct. There. You’ve been warned.

And sorry for the poor quality pics!